“Why do I keep dreaming about my old flame? Is it that I am missing them”. Recurring dreams starring an old flame or about a relationship you thought was long over, such as a marriage that ended badly, can be haunting and perplexing. Just when you think you have buried the relationship and have finally let go, a dream unearths the bones from the burial, resurrects the lover, and you find yourself back in the throws of the passionate love affair you so cherished before. The possible dream scenarios are many, from cuddling in bed to fighting like you always did over next to nothing. Dreams like these seem to reconcile a deep sense of loss, sort out the bad residual feelings and somehow make right what went wrong.

For a man or a woman who is married to someone else and with children in the next room, a dream of reconciliation with someone from their past may be at best unsettling. One may naturally wonder if they are secretly so dissatisfied with their present relationship that they are looking for a higher volume of love with someone from their past. Or, is it that they are in bondage to the dream lover and helplessly subject to their desires? Most may not consider their dream-mate is really their “soul mate”.

Although not all dream lovers are soul mates or as I prefer to call them Divine Complements, a large number are and point to a mysterious soul-to-soul connection that lingers beyond the duration of the commitment. Divine complements collaborate and interact in the psychic realms even when a relationship in real life is deemed impossible. The collaboration at the otherworldly dimensions is realized in dreams as the consciousness of one collides with the consciousness of their twin to share intimate details about their lives, such as thoughts, pursuits and desires for renewed connection. From these dreams one becomes cognoscente that there is a spiritual purpose to the relationship that goes beyond conscious attitudes, personal ideals, promises to others, desires and personal needs. The purpose is a divine one.

Longing and Pining Dreams

The emotional connection we feel for our Divine Complement is a bond of human love. This love can be preserved, respected and prized or it can be trampled on, buried, abandoned, and even destroyed by our carelessness. Our human condition is appreciated for its ability to bond deeply with another human being. The emotional bond with our Divine Complement is doubled in strength because of an even stronger soul and spirit connection, one that is impossible to dissolve completely because soul mates share a room in each other's hearts forever.

The Soul Mourns

For others, the bond and desire for connection may not be as conscious a choice. The soul itself appears to have a lot at stake in keeping old promises alive. Soul contracts that were laid to fulfill the promises for the incarnation that could not be completed because there was not sufficient time may necessitate the soul stay connected in the ethers. The karma weighs heavy on the soul and a solution is sought, one that will fulfill the soul’s promises. In such a case, a dreamer may find their “twin” showing up in their dreams expressing love and devotion, especially at times when either may need a helping hand. The 'dream reunion' will fill each with a strong sense of well-being and joy.

I ran into a woman recently who when I told her I was a dream expert disclosed that she was plagued by dreams about her ex-husband. Although she insisted she seldom thinks about him during the day, at night he's the leading man in most of her dreams. The dreams' scenarios though always different, pointed to a continuing desire to reconcile feelings of guilt and responsibility about the distance now between them. Intuitively, I could see that they were Divine Complements (soul mates) who still had a great deal of karma to clear up for a past life as well as a great deal of continued love housed in their hearts for each other. In her case, her soul was committed to advance his soul through a soulful communion of nighttime communications. She was nurturing him in the only way she could--at a distance.

Psychic bonds between intimate partners can present challenges after two have separated. When psychic connections persist they are experienced as anywhere from being tuned in from time to time to sharing an overcrowded psychic space and feeling overrun with unwanted emotions. It is not unusual for soul mates to sense when the other is in danger, has suffered a loss or is in the midst of a personal crisis. Welling up suddenly with unexplainable emotions, they never suspect they are picking up on their soul mate’s mood through psychic channels. A dream may even spell out the details of their soul mate's crisis offering an open window view of their personal dilemmas. These psychic experiences constitute a strong psychic bond that is undeniable and that is difficult shake. For those remaining loyal and steadfast to their soul contracts, their over- jealousness to see their Divine Compliment through tough times may add to their own suffering. They will unconsciously run to the rescue taking on the karma of their soul mate, not realizing how overburdened by their soul mate's problems they are. They may wake up feeling exhausted and unable to figure out a reason for their restless sleep.

The Death of a Spiritual Spouse

A soul mate who has left the earthly plane may revisit their spiritual spouse frequently, making their way into their dreams at night for a chance to communicate. These dreams are remarkable otherworldly communications and often touch the heart of the dreamer like nothing else can, soothing some of the sense of loss and instilling faith in an afterlife. However, not all such dreams are actual visitations. A young women who was anxious to uncover why her old high school and college sweetheart was the character in so many dreams, shared one of her dreams with me. Admittedly, her soul mate’s tragic death had left a vacuum in her heart, but she felt it was time to let him go especially because she was now happily married to someone else. In the dream, she was in a house with her sweetheart, who was very much alive. She was revisiting the relationship. His family was accusing her of not treating him with the love and respect he deserved and she found herself having to defend against their allegations. She mentioned that in truth his family had always embraced her as one of the family, therefore, it was hard to imagine that they were actually harboring any anger or casting any real blame on her. The dream was revealing unconscious shame and feelings of guilt surrounding the end of their relationship. She was blaming herself for her shortcomings, despite the fact that she couldn’t consciously admit any wrongdoing. The shear fact that he died suddenly and at such a young age was enough to leave her plagued with shame. Her unconscious just couldn’t let go of the fact that she would never be able to make up for any times when she fell short of her commitment to love.

Second Chance Dreams

Some dreams may hold a secret promise of fulfillment and signal it's time to reunite for a second chance. "Second chance dreams" come as signs that the door is open for a future reunion and that perhaps a phone call can smooth the way for a new beginning. I ran into a man recently who said that he reconnected with his Divine Complement, someone he dated in college, after he had a dream that told him that he would marry her. Shortly after the dream, he heard from his college sweetheart’s cousin that his old flame had divorced recently so he couldn't resist ringing her up and asking her out. The dream illuminated their destiny and coaxed him enough to make a move to make his dream come true. It did.

Discerning whether a dream represents an opportunity for a second chance or whether it is pure wish fulfillment, reconciling the disappointment of a painful separation, is difficult. If the dream reoccurs it may be worthwhile to consider that it may be paving the way for a second chance.

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Ariadne Green is a dream expert and author of Ariadne’s Book of Dreams (Warner Books, 2001). Her new book Divine Complement: The Spiritual Terrain of Soulmate Relatinships has just been released and is available through her website and a major booksellers. Visit her website at: http://www.ariadnegreen.com