Jennifer Aniston? Jessica Simpson? Denise Richards? Heather Locklear? While some of Hollywood’s hottest couples are celebrating the birth of new babies, many are parting ways. One of Hollywood’s latest movies, The Break-Up, highlights the struggles that come with breaking up. The movie’s storyline is as follows: After Brooke (Aniston) calls it quits with her boyfriend Gary (Vaughn), neither person is willing to move out of the condo they share. Taking the advice of their respective friends and confidants (and a few total strangers), they both engage in mental warfare designed to force the other person to flee the premises -- until they both realize they might be fighting to keep their relationship alive. Sound familiar? Whether you are famous or the average Jane, every heart needs to mend after a break up.

After a break up, you really feel terrible – sad, scared, terrified that you are going to be single forever. Whether the relationship lasted for years or a few months, there are a lot of hurt feelings and unanswered dreams that get shattered.

The following tips are designed to help you get back on the road to recovery:

·Have a support network in place to help you over the initial few weeks of shock. After three months, if you find yourself constantly focusing on the break up and the “what-ifs” seek professional help. You are beyond the stage of needing your hand-held and positive affirmations from your friends. You need to figure out why you can’t let go.

·There is no set time to mourn a relationship, but the longer you were in it and the older you are, it tends to hurt more. This is especially true if you haven’t reached all your hopes from the relationship, whether it is marriage, children or something else.

·Do not stalk your ex. As tempting as it is to know every detail. It is not worth the pain of knowing. Do you really want to know they are dating your look-alike (or your best friend)? Sleeping with anything in a skirt? No!

·Although tearing him out of all your pictures, or running over her pink frilly bedspread with your truck seems like it would help. It won’t! Doing vengeful things to the other half of the relationship only gives them more fuel for initiating the break up. Instead, be civil and be graceful. After all, do you really want to be with someone that has cheated on you, or is not living up to your ideals? Maybe one person initiated the break up, but the signs of a pending bust have been there for a while. Rarely do break ups happen out-of-the-blue. Usually one person has been living in denial for too long and just feels like the rug has been pulled out from under them.

·Reevaluate your list. Everyone has a list of what they are looking for in a significant other. After a break up is a good time to reevaluate your priorities. These things tend to change as you get older but sometimes people tend to stick to the same list. If you are interested in finding someone to get married and have children, then dating a 21-year old is probably not going to get you to your goal anytime soon.

·It’s okay to date just to date. You do not need to launch head first into your next committed relationship. Try a few different types on – go out with someone at least 2-3 times (unless they are rude, mean or just plain scary). There are too many things going against a first date (nerves, jitters, bad-date flashbacks) to just write someone off after only one date.

·The cardinal rule of girlfriends – NEVER date your friend’s ex. PERIOD.

Whatever you do, do not let your break-up become too big to fit in your carry-on relationship baggage. Take the most important lesson from your former relationship and fold it neatly in your bag. Toss the rest behind. Do not live in the past just use it as a small tool to help make your future that much better.

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Niehart, dating and relationship writer and author of Quiche and Tell: Advice and Recipes for Singles, is also the founder of the Dating Hall of Shame. http://www.Datinghallofshame.com is a forum for people to come and share their bad date stories, get dating advice and learn how to recover when a date or relationship goes awry. The Break Up Recovery Kit is a fun gift for anyone who is going through a difficult time in the dating world. The Kit is available on http://www.DatingHallofShame.com. Other gift items include Quiche and Tell: Advice and Recipes for Singles, which provides dating and relationship advice with recipes appropriate for each stage of a relationship, the Dating Hall of Shame Official Certificate which lets the world know that a bad date has been officially inducted into the Dating Hall of Shame.